


Razzle Dazzle

by FakePlasticSnow



Category: Glee
Genre: Crack, M/M, One Shot, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-19
Updated: 2010-05-19
Packaged: 2018-09-16 01:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9268142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakePlasticSnow/pseuds/FakePlasticSnow
Summary: Friggin' Bryan Ryan and his stupid magic tricks.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all! This is my first attempt at transferring over my stories from LiveJournal. I wrote this back in 2010.

Bryan Ryan was always a creative spirit.

That was the one edge he had over Will, even back in their glee club days. Will had good ol' heart and soul, but Bryan had all the razzle-dazzle.

It would then figure that Bryan's creative spirit extended to his interesting idea for a "thank you for reminding me I'm not dead inside" gift for Will after opening night of _Les Mis_.

Will knocked politely and waited before opening the dressing room door. "Hey, Bryan, you were fantas --- _mmph._ "

He hadn't been kissed this hard since Terri was still on birth control. 

Bryan yanked him in by his tie and slammed the door shut behind him. Will couldn't exactly do much with the situation, although he was guilty of darting his tongue forward a little bit because it felt so good and it had been so long. Then he realized what he was doing and pulled away, gasping for air.

There were a million things he could have asked: _What the hell is going on here? What are you on? Have you had a thing for me this whole time? Did you lace your lips with arsenic before you kissed me? Is this part of some diabolical scheme to distract me from my glee club? WHAT ARE YOU ON?_

But it took enough of his effort to remain standing up, so he just went with, "What?"

"It's my way of saying thank you," Bryan said with a smile that was either creepy in its sincerity or sincere in its creepiness. "I haven't felt this exuberant in years!"

Will's jaw hung open. He pointed at his own freshly-kissed mouth and repeated, "What?"

"Aw c'mon, Will, I've always noticed the way you stared at me in glee club. Figured I'd give a dog a bone, after all you've done for me."

"Uh, I looked at you like that because I wanted to _emulate_ you, not _do_ you. You're a...nice-looking guy, but I don't swing that way. Didn't think you did, either."

Bryan leaned towards the mirror to carefully remove his stage make-up. "What can I say, I have a colorful past. Once you sail past the crack-mark, you'll try anything once, or have you not seen _Passing Strange_?"

Will blinked. "Next time, just get me a beer or something? I'm not hard to please."

Through the mirror, Bryan's eyes traveled down to Will's crotch. "Clearly."

Will stormed out of the dressing room without another word.

 

Will showed up the following Monday fully determined to forget Bryan's brief moment of crack-ho-ness, except for one minor problem: Bryan had appointed himself the new co-captain of the glee club.

"I've found my purpose, Will! I'm sure you understand." And Will just didn't have it in him to quash the sparkle in Bryan's eyes that afternoon.

Problem number two: Bryan was wearing especially tight pants. 

He bent over the piano and rasped, "Missed you, Tinkles. 'Being Alive,' please?"

Problem number three: Bryan's last glory note could not be described as anything other than orgasmic.

"Same time next Thursday?" he said brightly as the other glee kids filed out of the classroom.

"Uh." Will cursed the fact that he was sitting down then, because Bryan stood right in front of him and the too-tight pants were ridiculously close to eye-level. But Will couldn't stand up either because, well, he _couldn't_. He had one leg strategically resting over the other for a reason.

 

Whenever he was in doubt, he headed to Emma's office. It wasn't convenient nowadays, given their emotional complications, but Will was desperate for someone to talk to. He knocked on the doorframe and leaned against it. 

He smiled at her. "Hey, Em."

"Don't give me that look, Will," she sighed. "You know how it makes me feel."

"Hopeful?"

"Irritated." She folded her hands on the desk. "My therapist says you're a dangerously tempting piece of man-meat."

"That's...oddly flattering," Will said as he sat down.

"I assure you she meant it in a bad way."

"Remember when we used to be friends?"

"I remember." All the seriousness in her tone couldn't mask the warmth in her eyes. "How can I help you, Will?"

"What do you know about the Kinsey scale?"

 

"Mr. Ryan is so dreamy," Kurt sighed.

Will turned his head so fast he almost got whiplash. As it happened, Kurt only said it to Mercedes, not as part of the universe's evil plan to mess with Will Schuester's head. As if the uninterested then-wife and subsequent daisy-chain of cockteases weren't enough.

Either Bryan was an even more amazing actor than Will realized, or he genuinely didn't care, but he did a great job of pretending That Night in the Dressing Room never happened. 

Today, Bryan wore a plain, teachery outfit and did a long lecture about vocal registers. At the end of the session, he gave Will a polite nod and turned to leave. But he couldn't, because Will's hand was on his elbow. Will gave it a sharp pull, and Bryan Ryan was on his mouth again.

Bryan pulled back. "Huh?"

"I can't stop thinking about it, okay?" Will said. "I've wanted to do this all week."

"Damn, I'm good." 

"Shut up and kiss me."

Bryan obliged, hands coming up to Will's shoulders to pull him closer and kiss him harder. 

Will grabbed handfuls of Bryan's shirt as he steered them both towards the piano. He bent Bryan backwards over it. Bryan curled up under him, wrapping his legs around Will's waist.

Will was so far gone that he just went for it, grinding against Bryan through two layers of clothing.

"You've definitely got some -- ah -- issues, Will -- _ohgoddon'tstop_."

 

After another make-out session in an empty hall closet, Will spoke up.

"Do you want to, you know, do this right?"

Bryan stopped in the middle of buttoning up his shirt. "Huh?"

"With dinner and a movie? And a bed?" Will added, wincing as he rubbed the sore spot on his lower back.

"That sounds nice, Will, but there's something I have to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I had a one-time tryst with Sue Sylvester the first day I got here. Does that bother you?"

Will scrunched up his face before he realized how harsh that was of him. But, well, _Sue_. "That's disgusting."

"Admit it, you're kind of turned on."

"I am. Shamefully so."

Bryan gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Pick me up around seven?"

 

The date lasted the entire weekend because Will had no idea Bryan was such a kinky son of a bitch. 

Then the date became dozens of dates, because Will had no idea Bryan was such a sweet son of a bitch. 

He probably should have thought about it more, instead of just falling into a relationship with the guy he idolized in high school, but hey, stranger things have happened in Will Schuester's life over the past year. At least with Bryan, he was getting laid on a regular basis. (They had sex _once a day_! Will felt like a teenager again!)

 

After one of their marathon nights, Bryan fell back against the sheets next to Will. "The plan was actually to seduce you _Cruel Intentions_ -style while forging something loving and real with Terri, but then I ended up falling for you instead," Bryan admitted. "So that was a bust."

Will leaned over to press a kiss to Bryan's shoulder. "Well, I hope I'm a decent consolation prize?"

Bryan grinned. "More than that, you're --" with a flourish of the hand, he made sparks blaze into the air. "Astonishing."

"Damn it, Bryan, we've talked about this! No magic tricks in bed!"

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Too late, I'm always gonna be magical in bed," he said. "In fact, I magic-tricked you until your eyes rolled back in your head. Twice."

Magic was just one of those things they were going to have to compromise on.

 

They walked together to the parking lot after glee club practice.

"Next time we have sex, could we sing to each other while doing it?" Bryan asked. "Or would that be too gay?"

"At this point, Bryan, I'm willing to try anything once."

"That is why I..." he flicked his wrist, and a bouquet of flowers sprung from his sleeve. "...Flower you."

Will could've whined about how that sentence made zero sense, but this entire thing with Bryan made zero sense, and that was exactly how Will liked it. He plucked a daisy from the bouquet and slid it behind his ear. 

"I flower you too, Bryan."

**FIN.**

**Author's Note:**

> Importing fics is currently in progress. In the meantime, feel free to read more of my stories here: fakeplasticsnow.livejournal.com/7071.html


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